The Blackberry of a Pervert
I have a Blackberry 8520, commonly known as Curve 2. I bought a white, but changed the screen cover and keypad to black. The phone has seen better days, but now it doesn’t look so glamorous. I’ve been harassed several times to get a better phone. My usual retort is that the phone still serves me, and I have better things to do with my money. Talk about priorities and shit.
Anyways, I decided to get a pouch for it. Of course, I got a black and white pouch. Blends well with the phone but the back kinda looks bland to me so I decided to draw something on it.
I started drawing a guy holding his phone, headphones plugged — listening to music, at the same time smoking on a cigarette — just chilling, you know? But that day, it got dark and I couldn’t finish it. It rubbed off after a few days and I couldn’t bring myself to starting allover so I shelved the idea. Then recently, as I was browsing through pictures on my tumblr page, I came across a drawing of The Lotus sex position of the Kama Sutra.
I am a fan of the Kama Sutra and I am not ashamed to say it, same way I am not ashamed to draw one of it’s most-loved sex positions on the back of my phone. Plus, I think it’s kinda cool and cool things is what I do. 
Why you should vote Bayo Omoboriowo as the Creative Artist of the Year at the Future Awards.
HOW I MET BAYO
One day, sometime in March this year, I went looking for a friend whose room at the University of Lagos school hostel is adjacent to Bayo’s. My friend’s room was locked and he wasn’t picking his calls so I went into the next room. I was just going to drop a message and leave but on looking at Bayo’s computer screen, I saw him editing photos on Photoshop. My first thought was that he was just a graphic artist. I had no idea he was a photographer (my friend, as a matter of principle, didn’t tell me). But then my eyes caught a DSLR camera on the bed, reflector and diffuser at the sides, camera belts and body strap on the wall. I knew these were the equipments of a professional photographer. I quickly connected the dots as I said to myself, this guy (I didn’t know his name then) must be a photographer. To confirm, I asked him and he responded in the affirmative. At this point, I silently cursed my friend for deeming it unnecessary to inform me all the while that there’s a professional photographer next door. Then I cautiously asked Bayo if he could help me.
You see, I had been looking for a DSLR camera to work with before I ventured into Bayo’s room. At the time, I was attending a workshop in photography and the erudite Kelechi Amadi-Obi who was one of the facilitators of the workshop had given us an assignment to do. We had to do a fashion shoot, nude/glamour photography and portraiture – all within one week. As I was only an enthusiast without any equipment, I was helpless. I tried every avenue I knew to get a good camera, to no avail. It was already thursday and I had to submit on friday. I was distraught. I was on the verge of giving up when I walked into Bayo’s room.
As my luck would have it, Bayo was an alumnus of the same workshop I was currently attending. In fact, because he was so good, Bayo worked for the organisers of the workshop, The Future Project, for six months after the workshop.
Without knowing me from anywhere, Bayo expressed interest in helping me. It’s very difficult to find a photographer willing to part with his camera (those things are expensive) but Bayo was willing to part with his — If only he didn’t have to use both his cameras that very evening. In fact, he was already gearing up to go to the venue of the Arise Magazine Fashion Week that was on-going in Lagos at the time. Then he asked me to come along.
Since it was a fashion show, he told me I could get pictures for my assignment at the event. He said he would allow me use of his camera for a few minutes at the red carpet and runway. I immediately jumped at the opportunity! Silently again, I thanked my stars for leading me to Bayo.
Bayo paid my transport fare from UNILAG to the Federal Palace Hotel in V.I, venue of the event. I had fun mixing with other photographers taking pictures on the red carpet. I took lots of pictures, including that of british model Dudley O’Shaughnessy, Rihanna‘s love interest in her “We Found Love” video, and TY Bello who posed with all the photographers on the red carpet. The event ran till late at night but I had to leave when my work was done.
For a beginner like me, it was still a wonderful experience. Looking back at it now, I think Providence led me into Bayo’s room that day. Bayo still jokes about it till today. He likes saying, “Meet Esquire, a photographer that started his career at Arise”.
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT BAYO
Bayo is a funny and playful guy with no qualms about him. He leads a simple and God-fearing life. He doesn’t let his achievements get into his head. Perhaps the most admirable thing about Bayo is his kindness. Bayo doesn’t mind sharing what he has. Bayo gave me expensive softwares and materials on photography without asking for a dime, unlike other photographers I had met who asked me for money before they can give me anything. No gainsaying, Bayo is the definition of a nice guy. Anybody you ask will attest to this.
WHY I RESPECT BAYO
I like calling him “the badass photographer”.
Bayo specialises in street/documentary photography. His pictures speaks more than just a thousand words; the way they just jump at you. The fine clarity of his photographs will make even the blindest of persons see. Recently, Bayo managed to bring out excitement out of the sadness of the Makoko story with his pictures. Even more recently, Bayo saw beauty in other creators of beauty; titled Pencils and Brushes, it’s a showcase of art students painting at the lagoon front in their school.
Bayo is also a wedding photographer. He takes the best wedding photos I’ve seen. His pictures are always so lovely, so creative. He establishes a cordial relationship with couples and works with them to achieve the best results. It’s how playfully chic his pre-wedding photographs are that just makes them pop. Bayo has a flair for capturing the happiest moments of a wedding ceremony. His creativity is limitless; he creates different posture with different couples.
Another reason I respect Bayo is the plainness, rawness and genuineness of his photographs. Bayo doesn’t over-edit his pictures. He doesn’t throw pancake on the faces of his couples with Photoshop. He doesn’t add extra effects to make his photographs beautiful; the beauty comes right from the camera. During one of those sessions we had with Kelechi Amadi-Obi at the workshop, he said a good photographer doesn’t spend his whole day editing pictures on Photoshop, he does the job with his camera. Bayo is more than a good photographer. He is an excellent one.
You can visit his website to see some of his works: http://bayoomoboriowo.com
WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR BAYO
Bayo doesn’t think that he is doing so great. He tells me, “I’ve only just started”. True, Bayo just started over two years ago. He is so good that is why he is getting recognized at so short a time. Granted, there are other great photographers and writers nominated in the Creative Artist of the Year category Bayo falls into but among them all, Bayo is the underdog. And I like rooting for the underdog. It is why, among the other reasons I talked about above — I want to vote for him. I appeal to you to vote for him too.
To vote Bayo Omoboriowo as Creative Artist of the Year (The Future Awards)
* Via SMS (Nigeria Only): TEXT “TFA, Bayo Omoboriowo, Creative Artist” to 33120 from any network.
* Online: http://www.thefuturenigeria.com/vote/artist/
Voting closes 10th of this month, so please endeavor to vote as soon as possible. Thank you and God bless you as you do.
How to become a music artist in Nigeria
So you are a Nigerian yoot? Thank God for your life (You see, there’s no better time to be a Nigerian yoot because Nigerians are making waves all over the world). And I’m guessing you like partying and girls (You can’t be a Nigerian yoot if you don’t like partying and girls). You want flashy things and living the fast life to complete the package? And you’ve already figured it out that doing music will get you all the money and fame? Ok, what else? You’ve tried your hands at Yahoo-Yahoo but maga no dey pay again. You’ve tried to check out of the country but dem no give you visa. Now you’ve come to the conclusion that music is the only way. You are smart. I am happy for you.
Thank God much of Nigerian music today is a formulaic one. All you need to do is get a banging beat, concoct a melodious chorus, talk about partying, girls, sex, money and/or God’s blessing repeatedly on 2 or 3 verses, and you can be the next Wizkid. You don’t have to be talented. Heck, you can sing along to the most popular songs in town, almost as well as the artist did on the track – that’s talent. You got it. You don’t need anything more. You don’t have to undergo voice training; there’s Auto-Tune. Akon did it. T-Pain’s whole career was built on it. Lil Wayne has used it several times. Kanye West did a whole album with it. All your favourite Naija artistes have used it at one time or the other. It’s only natural for you to follow the trend.
Your lyrics don’t have to make sense. What’s sense anyway? D’banj, the poster child for “entertaining music” have said it: “you don’t have to make sense”. You can shegidi megede all over the track, just make sure it sounds melodic. Never mind that his international breakout single “Oliver Twist” makes a lot of sense. Oh, you don’t know? Read Oris’ piece and learn. You don’t have to be deep, leave that for Modenine. Your listeners don’t care, they can hardly write correct English anyway. But why should they care? All they want is to make that quick buck and live large like their favourite artistes.
You don’t need to have any experience in music-making. Gone are those days when you must have been a member of your church’s choir, or at least played an instrument. Not everyone will pass through the church abi? You don’t also need to have any history doing music on the streets and/or singing/rapping to your friends. The only connection you have with music is with your iPod, (or techno phone as the case may be). That’s nice. You already know what good music sounds like. Now jump in a booth in a street corner somewhere, pick up a headphone and cheap microphone and just spazz out.
You sound horrible but the wannabe producer won’t tell you. He also is trying to make some quick bucks. Your case is not different from those really clueless people who can’t sing to save their life, yet they go on tv to audition for Project Fame (or any of the several music competitions we have nowadays). Your friends, family and relatives won’t tell you either. They don’t want to knock your hustle (you don’t have anything else going for you anyway). They will even contribute money for you to pay the hype-man. Pray you get past a few plays on radio. If you have enough money, Soundcity might play your video a few times as well. You are made.
By now you should be getting a few shows performing at street carnivals, local clubs, campus shows and the likes. You can now start bragging to your friends and cursing out your “haters” on twitter. Now all you need to do is pray that you get signed to a big record label so that the big shows, endorsement deals and millions will start rolling in. Don’t forget, on your debut album, you must do a track on how Baba God has blessed your hustle.
Congratulations, you’re now a Nigerian music artist.
Album Review: E.M.E – State of Mind
This post was first published on Film Afrique.
They are the “baddest boys” of the Nigerian music at the moment, and if you compare their compilation album to The Mavins’ (arguably the hottest crew), you’ll probably agree with me. It’s not difficult to tell that this was done better than the hurriedly put-together The Mavins’ Solar Plexus. For them, it is a State of Mind, and that is to rule the airwaves for a long time to come.
Although this album was designed as a potpourri of singers, crooners and rappers, it succeeds more in showcasing the strength, growth, and time-tested ability of each individual artiste on the label.
Take Wizkid. His singular songs on this album are some of the album’s overall best; while still standing out on group works. Although his debut album was commercially successful, it also received a fair amount of critical backlash. However, with his works on this album, he has proved without a doubt that he is a crooner and a good one at that. Looking back at his career from featuring on M.I’s “Fast Money Fast Cars” and Kel’s “Turn by Turn”, to releasing a debut album, to lending his vocals to several hit songs in the country, you can tell his growth his more apparent on this album. He is that artist that can jump in the booth to do a freestyle and it becomes an instant hit. And it’s not one of those rehearsed freestyles because you can tell he is just spazzing out. He is a talented crooner and it shows everytime he spits a rhyme. That is why songs like “Baddest Boy”, “Roll it”, “Body” and “Dance for me” are some of the most interesting, most groovy songs on this album.
Now, take Skales. He came out as a promising rapper with clever wordplay and smooth delivery. But for whatever reason, he pulled a Dr. Sid on this album. Though now more apparent, it is however not a surprising move. I mean, we all heard him sing on “Mukulu” and doing it very well too. He continued in the same vein on this album with “Ko mo le” and “My baby”, and did a good job here too. He is not the best singer out there or even within his group but he is a good one and that is a fact. It is yet unclear whether he has completely made the switch from rapping to singing, but judging from this few attempts, becoming a crooner might actually not be a bad move.
Of the new addition to the group, Niyola is the most viable. E.M.E is smart in their choice for a first-lady by going for someone whose vocal skills match that of their competition, in this case, The Mavins’ Tiwa Savage (because there is no other competition, really). Her singular cut, “Don’t Go There” is a beauty of song, perhaps the most ear-pleasing one on the album. Pairing her with Skales on “Wetin I want” might not have produced the best result but she carried the song to the minimal height it attained by complementing the newbie.
Shaydee on the other hand did not have a stand-alone track, although he had more features than Niyola on this album. Coming from his “I want” single and a few other features with Vector and Pope, Shaydee doesn’t really bring anything new into the E.M.E group. In fact, his parts are barely noticeable in the songs he featured in on the album. He however delivers on “Only you”, setting the right mood on the purely R&B cut which also had Banky W and Rotimi.
Banky W always delivers. His sexy voice is unmistakeable on each of the song he features in. Most noticeable, is the role of big-daddy he played on the album. He lends his vocal dexterity to the songs, covering up the shortcomings of his protégés.
Compilation albums usually have one problem, which is that the songs don’t always segue from one track to the next, especially on an album with as much as 22 tracks as State of Mind. Moving from a dance-floor heavy track to a slow R&B song might not make this album enjoyable if played in succession. The Basketmouth skits will loose their hilarity after a while and will have to be skipped. The “Reppin’ Emeazzyy” track might also suffer the same faith due to its redundancy. Also, for many people, the album might be stopped at track 20 before the “Hate (Part III)” skit and the final all-star track “Cant Stop Us”.
Truth is, you probably can’t stop them because they have proved quite convincingly with this opus that they are the new kings of groove.
Rating: 4/5
OYATO: that ‘different’ song from D’banj.
This post was first published on Film Afrique.
Since the Mo’hits breakup, fans have been expecting to hear what a D’banj song without Don Jazzy’s production would sound like. He kind of gave us a tip of the iceberg on K-Switch’s “Sister Caro” but his effort on that wasn’t enough to judge. Finally, he has teamed up with J. Sleek to give us “Oyato.”
There’s one very clear truth about Oyato (which means DIFFERENT in Yoruba language) though: the production is superb! J. Sleek – the latest signee to D’banj’s DB Records – killed it with the afrobeat rhythm. And I like the fact that D’banj brought “sexy back” by re-employing the harmonica which endeared him to our hearts in the first place.
On “Oyato,” the production/instrumentation is 80% while lyrical content is 20%. The production overshadowed the lyrics of the song; not that there was that much lyrics anyway. I think it was deliberate though – D’banj was obviously trying to show he can get great instrumentals that’s not Don Jazzy’s. He even said that much at the beginning of the song, “No Don Jazzy for here.”
But bullshit aside, if it’s not a Don Jazzy production, it can never be a Don Jazzy production. Yes, I said it! And you can quote me anywhere! There’s nothing about “Oyato” that Don Jazzy has not done before. So yeah, D’banj is going to succeed without Don Jazzy’s beat but he is – including we the fans are – going to miss that peculiar Don Jazzy’s midas touch which hangs heavily on any of his signature beats. It is already apparent. Imagine Don Jazzy adding his own pizazz; his melodramatic backup vocals to “Oyato” and we would have had another banger from the ‘D’banj-Don Jazzy chemistry lab.’ Not to say that “Oyato” doesn’t have a “banger effect” though (in fact, I can already hear a lot of people jamming it nonstop), but only time will tell.
D’banj’s fans have been saying the song has nothing to do with Don Jazzy. That’s bull. It does have a lot to do with Don Jazzy and any song D’banj releases is going to be for a long time to come, because fans all over the world will be listening very closely to hear what is missing (or added as the case may be).
All in all, Oyato is a good song, and the Afro-beat quality gives it a better chance to break into the international (American market).
Conversation with a friend
One lazy evening in school, I was taking a stroll with my friend and roomie when the following conversation ensued: Conversations
“How difficult is it for a guy to get laid in this school?”
“Err… I don’t know really. But it is quite difficult. It takes a lot of work… em, unless you have money”
“Oh really? I wasn’t expecting you to say that. I mean, you’ve had it quite easy. I know a little about your sexcapades, if not all”
“*laughs* You are not serious”
“I’m as serious as a heart attack hommie”
“Well, we can get you a runs girl, if you’re so desperate”
“Psst please! I don’t want a runs girl and I’m not desperate. God, I hate that word! Anyways, if I want a runs girl, I’ll get one myself”
“So what are you on about?”
“Just take this as a subtle cry for help”
“Ahem”
We heard a girl riding on bike call out to my friend. He told her to stop and turn the bike around. While she’s still sitting on the bike, they got talking. The bike-man looked straight ahead, pretending he’s not listening. They talked about her living so close to the area and my friend have never paid her a visit. He expressed willingness to oblige. At one point, he touched her hair, commenting how beautiful it is, asking if she just made it and how much it cost. She asked if he wanna pay for it. They engaged in such banter for a while. She soon left and we continued on our way.
“Hmm…is that one of them?” I asked.
“One of what? That’s the girl I told you wants to do me jor!”
“Pause. What makes you think she wants to do you?”
“Err…She always throws herself at me… she sits down on my lap in class… she calls out to me everytime she sees me… I just know she wants to do me. It’s like someone told her some things about me”
“I think she must have heard about your gigantic phallus”
*explodes into a wild laughter* “Gigantic phallus ko, gigantic phallus ni”
*laughing too* “Hey, I lie?”
“Shut up jor!”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“I told you, she’s older than me. Can’t you see how big she is? She’d pass for a married woman any day”
“So what? She’s do-able. And you are capable”
*laughs* “I’m capable abi?”
“Yeah…like Banky”
*More laughter*
“Weyrey boy. Seriously, I’m not interested”
“Oh please! I just saw you flirting with her. Stop pretending like you don’t want to do”
“Walahi, I’m serious”
“Bet why though? It can’t be because she’s old. I’ve seen you with bigger girls before… there’s Busty, and that other girl in the UK. Moreover, she’s not that fat. And she’s pretty. I’d totally do her if I were you”
“Well, that’s you. Me, I’m not interested”
“You lucky bastard”
“Weyrey leleyi ni? Me, lucky bastard?”
“Hey, I just had to say it. What I’d give to have what you have”
“Shey you want ni? I can give you if you want o!”
“That’s nice of you but no, thanks. You know I don’t like fat girls. Plus, you are the capable one, not me”
“Oshi”
“But seriously, you should do that girl. Think about the benefits, apart from the coitus that is”
“Hmm…I know what you are talking about but seriously, I don’t want to. I don’t want trouble”
“Hello…how’s that trouble?”
“For one, she might have a serious relationship and the guy might be in this school. I don’t want to get threatened because of a girl”
“I’ve never known you to be afraid of threat. Guy, you’re falling my hand o”
“Hey, what kind of friend are you anyway?”
“The kind that advices his friend not to pass on an offer of free coitus, even in the face of threat”
*shakes his head* “You get craze for head, no doubt about that. See, it’s not only about the threat. I don’t want a girl to fall in love with me, that’s why I always chop and run”
“Err…forgive me but I don’t see how that’s a bad thing”
“It’s a bad thing, trust me. I know how bad it can get. My brother had it bad, more than once sef. I know what he went through and I don’t want that to happen to me. Plus, I’m a good guy, I don’t want to go around breaking girls hearts”
“Hmm…you have a valid point there but I still don’t see that as a deterrent”
“I don’t know… My mind is just not in this one”
“That’s what you’ll say, before long now, I’ll hear you done did her”
“No, I won’t”
“Okay, I hear you”
THE END.
Ramadan has started, so help me God.
I am not going to lie, I am worried that Ramadan has started. Not because I don’t have the strength to fast – no, that is the least of my worries – but because I know I am a highly immodest person and might do things that will invalidate my fasting. Therefore, I’m begging Allah to help me get through this season hitch-free, because truth be told, I am too corrupt to do it on my own.
Lord, help me:
not to think lecherous thoughts this season
not to use curse words like “shit” and “fuck”
not to notice open cleavages and butts of low-waist-jean-wearing girls
not to come across lascivious pictures on my BBM, facebook or twitter
to lower my gaze when I see a pretty girl
to refrain from singing along to lewd secular music I may hear
to refrain from visiting blogs like TheNakedConvos especially on Fridays
I am:
not going to lie but help me not to do so unconsciously
not going to hug any girl, let her not hug me first
a narcissist, help me not to “feel myself” too much when I’m looking at the mirror in the morning
So help me God. Amen.
The following is another poem from that manuscript I inherited from my brother:
Tribute to Ramadan: the month of Glory
Welcome I say to Ramadan: the blessed month
Welcome to you the glorious month
Here you came with blessings back and forth
You came to purify me as another reason
You came to uplift me morally and spiritually
You came in an intensity to keep me in piety
You came to refine each of my virtues individually
With you gone were traces of gluttony
With you gone was vain talk and lies
With you gone was lust and envy
With you profanation closed from my eyes
With you kindness and humility became my plight
With you avarice drifted from my sight
And you lifted me from pangs of worship’s sloth
All in a period of thirty or but one days
Indeed, you are more exalted than a thousand months
For you took the world, the flesh and the devil off my face
Ramadan kareem to my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters.
IMPRESSIMS
I came across this poem written by my brother in 2006, when he was about the same age as I am now. Actually, I inherited a whole manuscript of his poems. “Inherited”, because since he went to the U.S to pursue a course in computer programming, he doesn’t write anymore and he doesn’t care much for what he has written either. Sad, I know. Anyways, I thought I should share this. Reading the poem again, I’ve discovered his train of thought then is similar to what I have presently.
IMPRESSIMS
My world is but a small one
The range of thoughts are narrow and far between
None try to keep away from the material
And rethink the ambivalence of all ethos
The guy’s vision is that of a miniskirt
He never sees anything he visualises
Fables are told of oasis across the seas
The parody of rhetoric abound
Can you imagine Tola being called Tollar?
The stars belong to estranged destinations on the planet
They only never leave its enclave
We all chant panegyrics about Gunners and Uniteds
Ours is contempt for mere grasses
We study books of the dead
The living deserted our company for moon-dreams
Each rung clarifies its sadistic advantage
One loses the scarce of time here
Or Allah who doesn’t even send a 5 naira sobo
But he needs only his “To whom”
And an ego to tender his desires
Why a deep range of thoughts
At least the world is revolving.
Tail-chasing (Episode One)
I always take a bus or cab to school whenever I have lectures, which is like almost every day of the week. This morning I was sitting in the front seat of a bus when a girl came in and sat on the seat beside mine. She looked familiar. On a deeper thought, I remember having wooed her when we were freshmen. In fact, it was on our matriculation day. And I remember her blowing me off, though we talked enough for me to know her department, also that she had a sister in school. I don’t remember her name however. What I also remember about her is that she had a certain class about her then, now not so much.
I tried not to stare too much while I watched her read a novel throughout the journey to school. I couldn’t also help but notice her throw some quick glances my way. As soon as we alighted in school, I went after her. That’s when the following conversation ensued:
“I know it’s too early in the morning and you’re probably rushing to class but I’ll like you to slow down a bit and let me walk you to class while I talk to you along the way”
“Err…ok. No problem”
“Thanks”
“I know this might sound…somehow, but there’s something attractive about a girl who still reads a book — albeit a novel — nowadays in a public transport”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah”
“I’m flattered. Thanks”
“You’re welcome. And if I might add, it doesn’t have to do with the fact that you are majoring in English Language. I know a lot of English Language and Mass Comm. students and I’ve never seen any of them read a book in a bus before except they’re going for exams”
“Wait, how do you know I’m majoring in English Language?”
“Er…maybe because I’m psychic”
“Haha. Funny”
“*smiling* I was only joking. You might not believe this but I’ve met you before. Three years ago actually–when we were in 100 level”
“Really? Wow!”
“Yeah. I never forget a pretty face”
“Hmmm”
“To prove to you that I’m not lying, I remember you telling me that you had a sister in school then”
“That’s true. So… what happened?”
“Well, you blew me off”
“I did? I’m sorry”
“Don’t be. But you can make it up to me by giving me another chance…albeit 3 years later. *smile*”
“Erm…ok”
“Alright. Lemme have your number. Here’s my phone. *She typed her number* Ok, I’ll call you”
“Ok”
“Have a nice day *shakes her hand*”
“You too *she waves*”
After a while I called her.
“Hello. I’m the guy you just gave your number”
“Ok, Hello”
“I forgot to tell you my name. It’s Adeyinka. I am not good with names so I don’t remember yours too”
“It’s Busayo”
“Ok Busayo, when are you going to be through with lectures today”
“Around 12. Although I may still have something to do after that”
“Ok. Later”
“Bye”
“Bye”
After 12pm, I called her again.
“Hello Busayo, it’s Adeyinka”
“I know. What’s up?”
“I’m just wondering if you’d like to have lunch with me”
“Err…I don’t know but okay”
“Cool. Meet me at Motion Ground. I’ll be waiting for you”
After waiting about 5 minutes, she showed up. I flashed her a smile and she smiled back.
“Hey”
“Hi”
“So what would you like to have for lunch”
“Err…I don’t know. Whatever you’re having”
“Erm…this is brunch for me actually so I might have something heavy. But since you don’t know, I’ll say let’s go eat rice. Do you have a particular joint?”
“No, I don’t”
“Ok, let’s go to my favorite place, Series 2 Kitchen”
“After you”
“Ok, but we walk side by side”
“Of course. I’m not about to start following you like a stray dog”
“Hahahaha! Of course, you’re not. So how was lectures today?”
“Fine. Thanks for asking. How was yours?”
“Same as everyday”
“What are you studying by the way?”
“Economics”
“Okay”
“So why did you decide to major in English Language?”
“Because I like it”
“Really? That’s nice. I like English Language too. I would be doing English Language (and Literature), if I had my way”
“So why aren’t you?”
“There is no course like English Language and Literature in this school but even if there is, I chose Economics because it’s more lucrative. Actually, I was advised to”
“So it wasn’t your decision?”
“No it wasn’t, though I didn’t really know what I wanted at the time”
“Well…you can still do it if you want, as Masters or something”
“Yeah, I can”
By this time, we were settled down with our food. We ate in silence for a while. Then I decided it’s time for me to lay it on her. I stared at her for some seconds and said:
“You are still as pretty as I remember you to be”
“Hmmm. Thanks”
“No really, you are very pretty. I hope you don’t have a boyfriend”
“I do actually”
“Of course you do. How can a beautiful girl like you not have a boyfriend? So who’s the lucky guy?”
“Do you really wanna know that?”
“No”
This is where I got stuck and didn’t know how to proceed. I had made the mistake of asking her if she had a boyfriend. It would have come up eventually (perhaps, in the nearest future) if I hadn’t ask anyway. But I kinda prefer the way it ended. Granted, I could have kept the conversation going; getting to know her and even becoming friends (while hoping she breaks up with her boyfriend or she slips and let me hit that) but I’ve been there. You take her on a few dates, probably buy her a few gifts while avoiding the main issue. When you finally ask the real question, she drops the bomb on you “I have a boyfriend and I love him”. That tells you she’s not gonna change her mind anytime soon. Then you’re left wondering why she lets you take her on dates and collecting your gifts when she knew she wasn’t gonna date you all along. You thought she is a good girl and isn’t after your gifts. She might not be but she lead you on and to me, that’s a greater sin than gold-digging.
So, that was how we just ate the rest of our meal in silence. We didn’t say much after rather, just small talk. For me, it’s better luck next time.
#NuffSaid
